Life in the Forces

A lot of thoughts travel in my mind, when I think where to start from. I feel like sharing some of my experiences, which have been like lessons in the book of my life. When I look back, I see that I was like any urban metro girl born and brought up in Mumbai for whom travelling in the local trains was normal and a routine. Pursuing my education in M.L.Dahanukar College itself was a great beginning, as I give the honour for what I am today. College life was not only like a race, but also like a journey. I made friends for life and the preaching of our mentors then, took me a long way ahead smoothly. The dreams of achieving my goals are owned by the times spent in college. Just as soon as I was in the mode of understanding the walks of life, I discovered that I had completed my graduation and already got married. Suddenly, a new chapter of my life opened. But, yes ! My partner is the one I desired to spend my whole

Good things have to happen to good people is what my mom use to say. And since someone like him came into my life, I started believing that yes! I am good. Well, I have loads of stories to share when my life took a turn and I got an identity of being an army officer’s wife. Like any other girl, my life also changed after tying a knot. In my family, it was a feeling as if I have been honoured with a bravery award. At the same time, it came with a lot of responsibilities.

The journey began smoothly as I entered the world of olive greens. The life there was like a bed of roses, welcoming me with all new surprises after a life in a fast lane. I was missing everyone back home as I joined my better half in the so called paradise on earth, Baramulla in Kashmir Valley. It looked like an exotic spread, full of different experiences, each one unique in its own way.

The life in the forces changed my outlook. From the wonderful vistas of the valley, we moved to a peace station ( in the military language – a place where our husbands do their duty, with the comfort of living along with their spouses and children ), in Bhatinda, Punjab. Right from arranging for a house-warming party to the sudden mid-night visitors (friends), I was absorbing it as a part of enriching myself. I was introduced to all my duties, even though I didn’t wear any ranks. The privilege of being a life partner to an officer belonging to a highly decorated battalion, itself gave me an honour. Getting acquainted to recreation facilities available at the drop of my hat, I felt that being a home maker as well as getting used to a disciplined life, is a way of living. I was getting groomed for being elegant, graceful, presentable and at the same time having traits like being patient, understanding, empathetic. I started realizing that each and every day in the forces gets familiar to words like gardening, baking etc.; as an everyday chore. Hosting people, be it four or forty, didn’t make any difference to the hospitality. I was sharing, learning and growing. Our responsibilities towards the welfare of the Jawan’s families are of utmost significance. Also packing our whole house in boxes, cartons, crates; although exciting was not a big deal anymore as we were even prepared to move four times in three years on postings. Getting ready for a formal occasion (draping a saree) within very less time limit, be it for a party, or a dinner night, made me realise that the dress code is a serious factor and is followed very strongly. Dinner nights were not only about relishing a sumptuous meal but also following a drill of events, where a military band plays in background, typically giving a feel as if I was witnessing a royal ceremony, with a six course dinner ( with silver cutlery ). I had to brush up my cooking skills to spread love and togetherness. Routine was never constant. Also, motherhood embraced me when we were blessed with an adorable and beautiful daughter. It was an outstanding experience of my life to bring her up where she learnt the way of being presentable in her social behavior as well as having a vibrant exposure from adjusting herself in new places, making new friends, adjusting to varied study patterns etc. It was a pleasure to see her doing all physical activities as a part of routine where she was swimming, riding, playing badminton etc. etc.

So thus, I even learned all the military terminologies and started feeling so proud of being a very small part of the country’s most respectful institution. My husband has played a pivotal role in grooming me at every step. I was making the most of it wherever I went. I pursued a course to become a professional educator. Life continued to take us to new destinations from one corner of the country to another. When I chew my cud, I realise that I have travelled a lot, getting acclamatised in all kinds of weather conditions, staying away from a busy city life, filling up my bag with a whole lot of stories, each day newer and more challenging. Right from learning impeccable etiquettes to amazing adventurous sojourns, it’s been a wonderful journey so far. Life as an army wife taught me how to conduct myself as a lady, whether I was interacting with a child or the senior most person I come across. The respect that I have been getting as an army wife has been instrumental. It was equally tough to undergo times when I had to be away from my husband, at times from the entire family, totally on my own. Especially when it was like a bolt from the blue, I had to play a dual role, that of a mother as well as a father, to my little one.

So, such a wide experience to be covered in details needs an unlimited space. All these episodes, when I compare my life with my college friends, I feel that I have come far away. But still, when I pass through the lanes of my college campus, I feel so satisfied and contented that I believe that this strength and the change in me is something that I have to owe to my college days. Thus, I continue being a wayfarer, on this path looking forward for more and more exploring...

- Monali Thakur,
(w/o Lt. Col. Vikram S. Thakur )
2001